Being Positive or Lesson Learned From Poorly Attended Meetings

For  years I've heard, read and been told, in a variety of settings, that it is better to be positive than negative.  Of course.  That's a no brainer.  Everyone knows that.  Right? Right.

As a mother I've tried to work on that.  At times I've been sort of successful with it.  At other times I've failed miserably.  In parenting I've always felt there was a conflict with that philosophy.  I know we are supposed to be positive, but I also know that we are supposed to teach, correct and direct.  For me, that has always included the need to express appreciation for what was done, mention what was done wrong, show how to do it right and then praise for doing it correctly or for at least trying to.

Recently I was in two similar settings.  They weren't settings where I was "invested".  I wasn't in charge of them and they didn't involve my family.  So, I wasn't emotionally attached or at risk.  Their success or failure wouldn't reflect upon me.

To be quite honest, both events had a poor turnout.  The number of people who were expected to come didn't.

At the first event the person in charge stood up and said the following, "I'm so disappointed we didn't have a better turnout".  When he said that it struck me in several ways.  One, it made me look around and realize there was a poor turnout.  Two, it made me feel like the event was unsuccessful.  Three, it made me wonder why I was there since so many others weren't. Four, I felt my attendance was unimportant.

At the second event the person in charge stood up and said the following, "I am so glad you're here.  This is wonderful!".  Wow!  What a difference.  His comments also struck me in several ways.  One, I felt lucky to be there. Two, I knew my presence was appreciated. Three, I was excited to be a part of that core group.

These two experiences really brought home to me the principle that you should always be positive.  Being negative not only doesn't help, anyone, it hurts, everyone.  I've thought a lot about those two experiences.  I think I had to be uninvested in order to learn, truly learn that principle.

I'm now trying to implement it fully in my life.  And I mean FULLY.

Our Oleander Trees

Our backyard is surrounded by oleander trees.  They are great trees.  They provide greenery all year round.  And in Arizona, that is wonderful.  In the spring they burst with beautiful white flowers.  Some of our oleander trees have begun to bloom.  Others are laden down with buds.

Yesterday the wind was really blowing.  I looked into the backyard and saw some of our oleander trees bending under the weight of their heavily bud-laden branches.  I worried that maybe the wind would be too much for them and they would break.

They didn't.

And today, those trees are covered with beautiful white blossoms.

I thought about that, and, of course, compared it to our lives.  The winds will blow.  We're told that.  It is never if they will blow, but when. When we feel those winds in our lives or see them blowing in our children's lives, worries arise.

I think we often don't see our burdens as "buds"--something hard that is going to produce something beautiful.  Instead, they feel like heavy burdens that are going to break us when those winds come.  But, if we are patient and steadfast, the winds stop and the blossoms come.